A Voyage to the Bottom of the IQ Chart


The new Netflix documentary on the Stockton submarine is, in essence, the cinematic equivalent of watching a slow-motion car crash while the driver insists everything is going splendidly. The filmmakers have taken a story already marinated in hubris and given it the full glossy treatment: moody lighting, dramatic music, and interviewees speaking with the gravitas of people who have just discovered the concept of hindsight.

The tale is simple enough: a group of people decided that the best way to explore the deep ocean was inside what appears to have been a large drainpipe equipped with a video game controller. Naturally, this inspired confidence in precisely nobody except, tragically, those on board.

Netflix, ever the master of packaging folly as high drama, alternates between expert commentary and grainy footage of the vessel bobbing about like a tin can in a bath. We’re invited to gasp at the engineering “innovations” — most of which sound suspiciously like things you’d cobble together in a shed after three pints and a dare.

In the end, the documentary isn’t so much about the ocean’s dangers as it is about human vanity’s astounding buoyancy. When the credits roll, you’re left with two thoughts: one, the sea is a merciless and indifferent place; and two, never, ever trust your life to anything that could plausibly double as a recycling bin.

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